Skiving

I skived off today. For a bit of the day anyway. I’ve spent the majority of my working life doing the standard Monday – Friday, 9 – 5 routine and it’s hard to shake the feeling that someone is going to pull me up if I’m not available immediately. That I need to justify myself.

I’m at a point now where I am largely in control of my own time. It’s taken some effort to get here but for the most part I can work as and when it suits, so long as the deadlines are met.

Old habits keep creeping in though and increasingly l find myself feeling the need to be working everyday. The workload has been there over the past months to require mad hours but as projects wind down, I need to remind myself that it’s ok to not be working all the hours because, what’s the point of being your own boss and in charge of your own time if you give it all back over to working?

The idea of free time is still fairly novel. As with everything at the moment, it’s a constant struggle to not fall back into old patterns but I think a definite sign of progress, whatever the situation you are trying to change, is recognising the old patterns / habits / feelings as they arise. And then not giving yourself a hard time, but instead acknowledging where you are and making a small adjustment to nudge you back on course.